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I should learn to smile. I know this. Yet I seem not be able to. Often it seems I've lost the ability to smile. My facial muscles are paralyzed. Other people do seem to be smiling, but I don't think it's the same. It doesn't come from the heart. They are dead inside, only the smile is left. I am not dead, but I am not smiling. Often I wonder how is it this way. 
It seems that the reality has split in two levels. If we think the human psyche, it could be imagined being like a house, that has upstairs and downstairs. - The cellar, and the attic. And I am there with the Cellar Man, and the rest of mankind is upstairs, and there are no ghosts, and no goblins there. People say, that ghosts wear white sheets. I don't know about this... sometimes I think I see kind of jewels there, like pearls, - electricity. It might be reflecting moonlight. I think it's a very tricky project to act as a mediator between these two worlds. Often I get scared; and as often as that, people get scared. I try to be as nonchalantly, and incognito as possible. Both with the supernatural entities, and with humans. Sometimes I accidental bring with me some ghosts. They are strangers in the human world. I think people see them, in some subconscious way. Sometimes people freeze, and might jump in the air, their hearts jumping. I think this is the cold pollack jump. Anyway, it comes and goes, and people quickly forget such things. Often I see something like horns too. It's a feeling in the foreheads. You can almost smell something burning. People get restless, and jumpy and paranoid. All kinds of thoughts enter their minds. I think she could have a name: Fama. She blows in two trumpets. There's a tremendous pressure; one doesn´t know how endure it.
Fortunately there are the waters of the Atlantic, that cool the heat. The Atlantic pollack lives there. They move around in shoals. I see all kinds of marine animals there, cold and shining with moony lustre. Yes, they live in a pond, that can also be a sea. They are cool, like the autumn is cool, and brings coolness. Or so I wish; as you can never know. I imagine so. These are my imaginings, only.
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